


Linger Sweetly

by lily_rainn



Series: LilyRainn does Aroaceing the Line 2021 [7]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Asexual Character, Bathing/Washing, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Non-Sexual Kink, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:55:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29766183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lily_rainn/pseuds/lily_rainn
Summary: Day 7:Spectrum-Dessert Toppings-Discovery–RainbowBarnes appreciates a good, clean order.
Relationships: Commander James Barnes/Celiquillithon "Cel" Sidebottom
Series: LilyRainn does Aroaceing the Line 2021 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2177520
Comments: 10
Kudos: 23
Collections: AroAceing the Line





	Linger Sweetly

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to edit this a bit more but it's nearly 11pm and I want to post it before midnight so this is what you get.
> 
> CW for discussion of past sexual consent issues, and mentions of violence/pain in a consensual kink setting. In this fic Barnes is demisexual and has a history of less-than-enthusiastically consenting to sex. He’s also a trans dude, and his top surgery scars get mentioned but there's no specific words for either his or Cel's anatomy.

Barnes appreciates a good, clear order. He always has. He likes a purpose, a role to settle into. That’s why he liked the Navy, before it got weird and complicated, and if he’s being honest then it’s why he stayed longer than he should have. He wanted things to be simple, in a world where that could no longer be the case, and it kept him following orders that make him feel sick to look back on.

In comparison, all the sex he’s had is hardly worth complaining about.

He didn’t _hate_ the sex. Some of it was good, some of it was fantastic, especially with some people. But most of it… Well. He’d gone to his knees eagerly enough every time, and he’d never been ungrateful to the people who put him there. Even bad sex had been a price worth paying for the thrill of taking a few good orders.

He hadn’t realised, until Cel, that it is a price he doesn’t have to pay. Cel is so careful with him, never assumes anything about what he wants. It’s never occurred to him, he confesses to them with a bashful sort of smile, that he could have the joy of that wonderful, simplistic clarity without sex.

“Of course you can!” Cel says. “There’s nothing anywhere that says you _have_ to have sex. But we can if you want to. Do you want to?”

Barnes opens his mouth to say yes, of course he wants to, but he pauses. No-one’s actually asked him that before. He’s never had to think about the answer.

“No,” he says slowly, after a few moments. He’s not sure if that’s actually what he feels, or if he just wants to find out what happens when he says it. “I mean, I don’t mind. I think I don’t mind? But it’s not… something I _want_ to do.”

“That’s fine!” Cel says, and their grin makes him think they’re even being genuine about it. “But I’m still happy to try a session. Whenever you want! There’s lots of things we can do without having sex.”

He trusts them.

* * *

And they’re right. They do find plenty to do.

Sometimes it’s an evening on his knees by their workstation, holding instruments or fetching materials at their instruction. Every time he goes back to kneeling before offering their requested item out to them, and every time they take it with a glowing smile and a “Thank you so much, James. You’re doing so well.”

Very occasionally, it’s pain. Barnes finds he enjoys pain when it’s coming from Cel, who knows how much he can take and always backs off when he asks them to. He likes a few bruises, or a long-fingered hand tight around his throat, telling him when, and when not, to breathe. On one memorable occasion, he lies shirtless and prone on the table in the lab and lets Cel run whatever experiments they please. For weeks, he swears he still feels the tingle of electricity across his skin when he thinks about it.

Often enough, though, it’s something gentler. Like now, as Barnes stands in nothing but a towel and Cel, naked and beautiful, is leaning into the shower to stick a hand underneath the water. “There, I think it’s warmed up,” they say happily, turning to him with a grin. “You ready to go?”

Barnes is already feeling light and pleasant in anticipation, so his nod comes with a slightly dopey smile that he’d be embarrassed to let anyone but Cel see. “I remember the safe word,” he confirms, because they check with him every time before they start.

“Very good, James!” They look so proud of him, and all Barnes wants to do is keep them looking at him like that. So when they say, “Give me the towel and get in,” he doesn’t hesitate. He lets the towel fall into his hand, passes it to Cel, and then steps under the warm water. The sense of relief is dizzying.

Cel is beside him a moment later. “So, pass the shampoo and we’ll get started?”

Cel’s hands in his hair are always a sure-fire way to send Barnes sinking into the quiet headspace he's looking for. They’d found that one out almost by accident, and it was the reason Barnes had suggested showering together in the first place. Being naked and touching had been a little awkward at first, but by now it’s an activity they keep coming back to, one that makes them both feel loved.

Barnes tries to trace the movements of Cel’s fingers as they lather shampoo into his hair, and it chases all other thoughts out of his head. By the time they’re done he’s lost track of time completely and his thoughts are soft and clouded at the edges. Before Cel tips his head back and rinses the soap out, they pause and put two fingers under his chin, closing his mouth. Barnes hadn’t realised he’d let his jaw go slack as he drifted off. He chuckles to himself dreamily and then leans into Cel’s hands, letting them guide him.

“Well done, James, you’re doing great. I’ve got you,” they encourage him as the water cascades down his body and their hands massage the soap from his hair.

Once his hair is rinsed, Cel starts on the rest of him. This is where he gets what he really needs, the simple instructions to “Lift your arm up for me, James,” or, “Turn around so I can do your back, that’s it, well done.” Every direction seems to pass from Cel’s mouth directly to his limbs, and it’s such a relief to let them worry about what he’s doing, how he’s standing, what needs taking care of. When Cel cleans between his legs, it’s with a clinical air that makes him feel calm and cared for.

On the other hand, Cel is always so tender with the scars on his chest (even though they’re old, and healed, and even a little numb these days) and the bigger ones on his hip. They run the soapy washcloth over him with careful, light strokes, glancing up at his face every few moments to check he’s not in pain. When they duck their head, press their lips to the raised skin and say, “I am so, so proud of you, James,” Barnes feels like he might burst with adoration.

“There, you’re all clean,” Cel says at last, as they wash the last of the soap suds from him. “How is that? Still feeling okay?”

“Yeah. Better ‘n okay,” Barnes says, slurring his words a little. He leans in as they hold their arms out, slumping into their embrace. It is so good to feel _safe_.

“Want to get out and come back up?” Cel offers, but he shakes his head.

“No. Stay here. Can we stay here a while?”

“Of course we can, dear. You’re so good. So lovely like this. Do you want a kiss?”

Barnes hopes that leaning in close is enough of an answer. It seems to be, because Cel closes the gap and kisses him softly. For a few moments they stand like that, pressed together comfortably under the warm water. Finally, Cel pulls away.

“Well, if we’re going to stay here, no point wasting the hot water.” They hand him the shampoo bottle again. “Here, you can return the favour. Don’t worry, I’ll talk you through it. I’ll be right here, James. I’ll tell you what to do.”

He trusts them.

**Author's Note:**

> This week has been an absolute JOY to write for, and to read everyone else's works too!! Big thanks to everyone in Rome, you are all such an inspiration and I love you.


End file.
